Saturday, October 4, 2014
A mother's love for her children runs extremely deep and is unconditional. A father though he loves the children may not expose his emotions outward. It has has been that way since the beginning, and that's the way Lord designed the world.
Malachi 4:6 He will turn the hearts of the parents to their children, and the hearts of the children to their parents; or else I will come and strike the land with total destruction.
Our marriage comes first; then our children. When the priorities are reversed, we have a 'situation'. By spending time with our children, we are in turn loving our wife. Love her by caring for the children. Be careful never to dishonor or criticize her in front of the children or in the public. Such incidents will leave an everlasting wound in her heart. In fact, the best gift a father can give his children is to love their mother. Further, the best gift a mother can give their children is to love their father. The quote goes both ways, and children feel safe around the house when parents love each other.
There comes a time when it is required to take up the role of disciplining the children. This is something that has to be dealt with patience. Do not let your anger overtake your emotions.
Proverbs 23:13 Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish them with the rod, they will not die.
As a father, take up this role and do it as required and stop being passive to their activities.
Proverbs 13:24 Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.
A word of caution here - while disciplining, fathers can almost cross that line. We are told to use Godly wisdom.
Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.
As husbands, we are responsible for heading the spiritual leadership at home. We should lead such activities in our day to day lives. God expects us to teach His words to the rest of our family.
Psalm 119:13 With my lips I recount all the laws that come from your mouth.
Home is your castle and you are the king. Remember - size of your castle should not matter; let your imagination create boundaries for your kingdom. Treat your wife just like a queen in your castle by showering her with respect in front of the children and others. Treat her with special dignity at the dining table - with kids and especially with guests.
Beloved Father, enable me to treat my wife with respect. Teach me the ways how Jesus encouraged others. I pray that my wife feels confident and secure in the presence of our children. May she use Your words and Your ways and bring up the children You presented in a manner pleasing to You. I pray for all the struggles she go through while raising the children, and may Your blessing bring strength upon her.
Friday, October 3, 2014
Girls are wonderful talkers and oh boy, they love to speak!
Statistics say that on an average, girls speak about 20,000 words a day, while their male counterparts speak around 7,000 words during the same 24 hour period. This is almost thrice, and is due to the effect of Foxp2 protien.
A wise husband should have already figured it out, or now is the time to learn so. What this entails is that women love to communicate and it is the role of a loving husband to engage in conversations. A husband's role is to be a good listener.
The best conversation is held when you truly listen, and it is the desire of every human heart to be heard, While she talks, keep your body language in tune, stay physically close to her and pay attention to what she speaks by looking into her eyes. Most of the times, she is just venting out and is leaning upon you. During these times, she is not looking for any practical tips or solutions; all she needs is her voice to be heard, and you being her husband are the chosen one. Just listen carefully and once she is done speaking, she will feel lot better. You won't have to utter a word unless you are probed with a question. Now, once she is done speaking, you can pray on that topic.
Speaking of prayer - it is our communication with God Himself. A humble heart is what He wants us to have when we hold those conversations with him.
Has not my hand made all these things,
and so they came into being?”
declares the Lord.
“These are the ones I look on with favor:
those who are humble and contrite in spirit,
and who tremble at my word.
Family prayers are times when we gather together as a family. As head of the household, the husband is responsible in bringing everyone into the presence of the Lord. Remember the saying, "A family that prays together stays together." Having regular prayers at home improves the overall mood within our house.
During prayer we speak from our hearts to our heavenly Father, and He seems to be listening to all our prayers, without uttering a single word. God speaks to us through His Word and guides us using the Holy Spirit. Most of us do not know what to say during prayers - never mind; God can help us in that area of communication too.
Romans 8:26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.
Communicate with your wife regularly. Tell her everyday, "I love you" in one way or the other - there are millions of ways to do so. For instance, leave simple and inexpensive love notes for her around the house - in her clothes, in the kitchen, in her purse, or even in the refrigerator - be creative. Spice those notes up using stanzas from love poems or movie pick up lines - these will give them an opportunity to think about it all day.
God Almighty, enable us to communicate with each other so that we may share our thoughts with each other and thus understand each other. Together, we desire to come into Your presence everyday. Help us become regular visitors in your heavenly kingdom. Provide my wife with a humble heart so that she may communicates with You and all of us in the family.
Thursday, October 2, 2014
When you are near your wife, take time to acknowledge her presence. Say, she walks up towards you. Since she is the greatest gift from Lord, take time to stare at her. Make her feel important than whatever work you are doing. You should utilize your eyes to focus your attention upon your wife. Our eyes are meant to notice her, and we should be able to convey the message, "I love you," merely with our eyes.
A wife is constantly trying to please her husband and is always seeking his approval. A nagging thought that goes through every wife's head is, "Does he still think I am pretty?" This is when you can look into her eyes and give that nod of approval.
Proverbs 4:25 Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you.
As they say, eyes are the window of soul. By looking straight into our wife's eyes, we can see her soul. When she does her hair, or tries on a new outfit, she is seeking that same approval - after all, we are the one whom she is trying to impress.
Luke 11:34 Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eyes are healthy, your whole body also is full of light. But when they are unhealthy, your body also is full of darkness.
Pay attention to your wife's eyes and should be able to tell if she is excited, happy, or being bothered by something. Eyes say it all - love, joy, pain, sincerity and truth. Though a wife may smile or laugh using her mouth and lips, her eyes are the one that convey the truth and the right message.
Proverbs 15:30 Light in a messenger's eyes bring joy to the heart, and good news gives health to the bones.
Encourage your wife to read the Holy Scripture. May she learn the Word of God. May she hide those Words in her heart and not sin against the Lord.
Psalm 119:11 I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.
As head of household, we should encourage our wife and other family members to lift up our eyes towards the Lord. He is our source of help at all times. This is a concept we should drive home.
Psalm 121:1-2 I will lift up my eyes to the mountains;
From where shall my help come?
My help comes from the LORD,
Who made heaven and earth.
Eyes are powerful organs God gave us. They can be so intense that one can choose to look away or to look into them forever. Eyes have the power to speak powerful language and sing sweet love songs. Practice speaking to your wife using your eyes. When you two are in a crowded room, talk to her from one side of the room with your eyes.
Heavenly Father, may my wife's eyes always be healthy. Let them shine brightly like a lamp. May she develop a love towards You by reading Your Holy Scripture. Let her be illuminated by your Word, and be basked in your light. May she raise her eyes towards you at all times and acknowledge Your daily help. Finally, let her reflect your bright light in whatever she does - both inside and outside our home.
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
Take a moment and recall your life before marriage - how much you longed for a trusted partner to share your joy and thoughts. Remember that young girl who left her home, siblings, friends and even her own parents to come join you as a life-partner? She came and stood in God's presence and promised to dedicate her entire life following you, and abide by whatever decisions you make - good or bad.
Let's go back to the Garden of Eden. The scene takes place when Adam was all alone.
Genesis 2:18 “18 The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
The good Lord made a beautiful partner and suitable helper for Adam. His new creation was given to Adam as a gift.
Genesis 2:23 The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
Notice two things - woman was created from the bone and flesh of Adam and then the two become one flesh - a wonderful union.
No doubt, a wife is the most precious and wonderful gift a man can receive from the Lord. King Solomon echos this in his proverbs.
Proverbs 18:22 He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.
We are liable to treat our wife as a fabulous and wonderful gift from Lord. That is one reason we are going to pray for our wife. Let us be thankful for the wife God gave us and never take His gift for granted. While we pray for her, and love her, we want to make sure she is content, satisfied and happy. That everlasting happiness comes from God. Hence, let us pray that our wife is a person of prayer, and she finds that source of joy and satisfaction in His presence.
Understand that the two of you are one. Know that holding her hands delicately conveys the message of love and unites the two as one. Create occasions to spend time together as one. It could be as simple as soaking in the tub together in the evening, going out for a walk holding hands, or even holding hands during prayers.
Almighty Lord - Thank you for my wife - the precious gift you have entrusted in my hands. I pray that she finds everlasting joy in your presence and prayer. Help me lead her towards you in prayer. May her learn your word and find solace by approaching you first, whenever life presents itself with challenges.
Picasso's 'Head of a Woman' (1960) Credits: Artist Rights Society, New York
As the new month rolls in, am planning on sharing, "Love and Prayers for the wife", with a month of uninterrupted prayers, dedicated towards the wife. During the course of this month, let us focus on how to fall in love with our wife. Let us also make use of the Holy Bible to shine light into this area.
In every committed, long-term relationship, as time progresses, some of the magic inevitably starts to wane. Once this happens, the rest of our life begins to find it's way to those mundane activities, priorities, etc,. In such situations, one of us, preferably the head of the household - the husband, should step up to reinvigorate the relationship and restore any fading romance.
When it comes to romance after marriage, the very definition shifts between a husband and wife. Occasionally, the wife may provide numerous romantic gestures which go totally unnoticed by the husband. Something guys need to learn and taught is that romance is different from sex. During certain occasions romance may lead to sex - a date night or a vacation are good instances.
In those books of history, we come across few individuals who were born to romance and bath in love all their life. Pablo Picasso was one of them. Pablo Picasso's most painted subject was his love of life - his wife, Jacqueline Roque. More than 125 artworks were created in her name. She was the most important love of Picasso's life. To make a long story short, they were in love from the very first time they met until their death. We can be in a similar boat - once we know the secret recipe to spice up a married life.